London Walks

“Have I failed you, grandmother?”

“Oh London. What did I ever do to you?”

“Dark Star Coconut Porter please landlord.”

“Pulled-pork bap?”

“What’s an ‘Alperton’?”

“Got a lovely bit o’ curly kale for you.”

“It’s a Samoan pub.”

“The FAS4EST tit in the West”

“Is this Regent Street? Is this Regent Street?”

“I could tell you, but then you’d have to kill me.”

“Yes, well, why wouldn’t there be a tent in the subway?”

“Oh my God, they’ve killed that pub! You bastards!”